Shame on me

I'm so sorry, it's been 11 days- how dare I. I'm not going to sugar coat this, I've been embarrassed to update you all on what has been going on over here. Remember that job that I was a little too excited about? Turned out to be nothing that I thought it would be. I felt (and still feel) like such a fool. I thought it would be so great stepping out of my 'hospitality' comfort zone that I've grown to love over the last ELEVEN years- biiiiig mistake.

I think at the end of the day, they mean well. Selling final expense insurance to Senior citizens; during the training- they told us heartwarming stories, I choked up on several occasions. I was so excited to make sure families were taken care of- to be that person who would look out for the elderly. And I was good at it- really good at it, actually. But that's what kept sending up the red flag; I was really good at this job- but I didn't love it, something didn't feel right. My part was to basically read thru a script, connect with them, then 'patch in' an actually Insurance salesman. Sounds easy enough. But after making a few calls, and receiving some feedback; I started to realize they wanted me to be pushy and deceiving. 'Make up a story...' , 'Pretend to connect to them....', 'They only need to think that you care about them....'. That last comment was the response to me when I told my 'team leader' I was really having a hard time with these calls morally. One of the questions we were supposed to ask was if they had been diagnosed with Dementia or Alzheimers-- having gone thru that with my grandfather, I asked 'what if they don't realize/understand/remember that they have been' and I was told 'That's not our problem'. Now I'm sure there is some background they run-- but all I could picture was my poor sweet Grandpa picking up one of these calls and getting suckered into dishing out more money than he even realized because I was distracting him with sweet talk. I came home crying that night. Luckily, I have the amazing husband that I do; he knows me, he knows that job was not for me. So I stayed home the next day with my sick babe, then dropped off my stuff.

This all happened last week (Friday). Since then, I've been keeping busy with the fam, the apartment and sending out a bazillion applications....However, Rob and I finally had a 'sit down discussion' - ya'll know when it's a 'sit down', that means business! Anyway, with the holidays coming up- our need to be able to head back to Ohio to see family, and have enough time to hopefully meet up with the Buffalo folk too.... and with the thought of expanding the family again at some point; getting a job for me right now is just an absurd idea. Maybe for the holiday season? Lord knows I can't control my spending for Christmas- but we'll limit my availability to only evenings and weekends until we fly home.

Poor Audrey, that kid is obsessed with her Daycare. When I go to drop her off, she gets all smiley and starts bouncing in my arms to see her teachers. It's going to kill me to tell her that she's stuck with me again--luckily she has no idea what I'm saying still (I hope!). On the other hand- this kid has been to the Dr weekly since she's started (yes, that is only 3 times, but still). Daycare has given us 2 ear infections, a virus and a stomach bug--in only 3 weeks!! I've done laundry three times since last night so that the apartment doesn't have random vom stained items laying around ..... I do really love the snuggles though ;-)

On a good note- we went to Trucktober last weekend. A gather of a ton of Food Trucks, and our pal Kelly joined us. It was a B-E-A-utiful day! Perfect amount of sun mixed with a crisp chill breeze. I'm disappointed that we only tried 1 truck (tacos...shock!!!) but that 1 truck was seriously devine. Next year I am determine to expand my horizon!

Audrey is walking now- she literally came home 1 day, took her first steps and then was running the next day! We've decided she refuses to do anything until she's perfected it, haha.

Rob and I have been entertaining ourselves with Jeopardy episodes and playing Blokus- I know, we are gonna have a ton of friends in no time, right? lol. I am determined to get out there now that I am officially back to SAHM and get into some mommy groups.

Ok- now that I've overcome my fear of broadcasting my huge 2 week mistake...I promise to be back more regularly :) I've missed ya'll!

XOXO

My lil' craft project. Do I have a problem?

BIG GIRL car seat!!

Whew

YES- we are still alive! Unfortunately, I think is going to have to start becoming the norm- posts on Saturdays or Sundays.... for the next several weeks at the very least.

The first week of work- and A's first week of daycare- have come and gone in the blink of an eye and man, they were successful! Audrey adapted to daycare incredibly fast- by the third day she was taking a 2 hour nap and bouncing in my arms with excitement at the site of her teacher, Ms. Amy. I should've been happy- but it broke my heart because I'm a sad sap of a mommy, lol. We've gotten really good reports; BUT I will say that I could do without the snot river she's had. Everyday, it's so gross- just snot snot snot running down her nose. She also a developed a really mean cough. It doesn't seem to bother her in a painful way, but I can tell it just annoys her. I suppose it's better to have her sick now then to have her be one of those dainty kids down the road who gets sick when someone opens a window!

Work has been interesting. When I'm alone- or along side folks who have worked at the company for awhile (or even a couple weeks), I feel really good about the job. But when I am in my orientation / training class; I'm a little confused as to how we all got hired...if you catch my drift, lol. I feel like such an awful person saying or thinking that- but I'm a general upbeat and optimistic person; these other folks seem to be searching for 'problems' then they just roll with it and try to get other on board. I think everyone thought I would be an easy girl to get behind them.... WRONG! It's just entirely petty. It will be interesting to see who actually lasts throughout this entire thing. We've already lost 2-it sounds awful, doesn't it?? I come home thinking I'm missing something, I suppose only time will tell.

The other slightly overwhelming aspect is that I've been placed on that 'fast track', which will allow me a MUCH shorter time with my training group, but is requiring a lot more time from me than I was looking to give for a job. I know it sounds bad- but after the hotel life, and having A, I'm not looking to exhaust myself during the day. A simple/easy and happy job that I can clock in/clock out and get home to my baby girl is all I want. Selfish and delusional right? Who doesn't want that? The difference is, I'm OK with not making the big bucks. I want to work- for my sanity as a mother and wife. It's hard staying at home. Even harder in a new city where you don't know anyone or anything. RMG (my new company) is paying for me to get my insurance license so that I can get over to Sales ASAP. It's awesome honestly! But the test is Friday. And I'm studying material that is basically written in Japanese to me! It's incredibly frustrating as I'm reading the info- and Auds is crawling around- without a mommy on the floor to play with. Isn't this exactly what I didn't want? I just keep telling myself that once I pass, it will change. In a couple weeks, I'll get into my groove and it will all change. Oh heavens I hope that is true.

We were so excited for this weekend- we had our first date in lord knows how long!! We joined Care.com in the hopes of finding a babysitter for 11/11- when the Sabres are in town to play the Blues; since they will be responsible for making/feeding Audrey dinner, bath time, bed time and play time- we figured we would take an opportunity to pre-meet a couple girls and enjoy a couple random nights out for a little bit. Our first one was incredible, but I thought she was a good start. Sweet girl, but very quiet.... and the poor thing didn't realize that A can sleep with her bedroom light off? Silly me for not being more clear- I just assumed that was a given, lol. But we had a nice time together- and really enjoyed Gone Girl. Having read the book- I have to say that I thought it was incredibly well done and very much like the book! Kudos, David Fincher, Kudos.

Then Saturday came and, well, it was the worst day we've experienced in STL thus- which I actually think is pretty good! I raced out early to get my hair done at little salon I read about. WRONG! I've never had the feeling I had there. I had a huge anxiety breakdown. It was the sleaziest place I've ever been in. Everyone looked dirty- everyone's hair looked awful, they couldn't even figure out who was supposed to be doing my hair because they don't have a scheduling book? What the heck?!? When they figured it out, the told me the girl was running late- until I saw her get out of a truck with another client- both throwing back red solo cups. Classy ladies, let me tell ya (oh, also- it was 10am). This woman had blonde hair with a HUGE chunk of red right down the middle on top. The minute I saw that, I freaked. As a person, I bet she's awesome. But there was no way I could trust her with my hair if she thought her decision on her own was a wise one. So, I played the mommy card for the first time ever. I text Rob to call me, and made a big scene that there was an emergency with my daughter and I had to leave. Don't judge me, I feel bad enough-- but I would feel just as bad and have awful hair had I stayed!

Next, the big O'Fallon Fall Fest (again, we LOVE fests!!). I had read up about it and it seemed it had everything we would love- crisp fall air, adult beverages, over 70 craft vendors (I specifically read that), even a moo-gician! WRONG! Talk about false advertisement. Maybe 15 craft vendors? They were spread out so badly over this beautiful and big park that it was almost sad. A+ for the adult beverages- but I could have paid less, stayed home and walked A around our development. We only ended up staying maybe 45 minutes because we just kept walking in circles, then goofed around with A on the play ground.

We ended the night with dinner. It was delicious- granted, it was just a standard juicy burger, but it was exactly what I was craving. We took a chance and tried out a 'non-chain' restaurant. Well, sort of. It's a tiny chain- but only in STL. Either way, the atmosphere was outdated (think teal and purple décor. yuck) and the service was SOOOOOO awful. Again, thank heaven the food was delicious.

I'm sure it goes without saying that the Dolphins loss today didn't add any extra smiles to our weekend. I've got to hand it to them though, it was a really great game; it just would've been better had they won, obviously.

So, wish me luck- it's going to be another crazy week; but I have a feeling we're going to have a great weekend next week and I'll be itching to share it with ya'll!!

XOXO

 

Exciting!!

Normally, my weeks drag... Not in a bad way; I just always think it's Thursday and it's still Monday. Now I'm exhausted from how quickly time is going!

We had such a nice weekend- it finally felt like Fall on Saturday and we took full advantage of the weather by hitting up the local Pumpkin Farm- Rombach's Farm. It was so cute! My only let down was that it failed to have any sort of a legit 'store', lord knows I've got to get my shop on regularly, haha. But the pumpkins were impressive, they had pony rides, tractor rides, live animals, funnel cakes (I died) and even a Beer & Wine tent for Mommy and Daddy! I wish Audrey was fully walking because I think she would've enjoyed it more; however, she did her fair share of crawling around and was incredibly amused by the pumpkins! I hope she grows up with our love of the fall... oh who m I kidding- who doesn't absolutely love Fall?!?!

Sunday was a bit more quiet. With no Dolphins game to miss, I left my 2 favs at home and ran out to this little homegoods store nearby that we came across when Rob and I came out here in July. It's called 'At Home'- but you have to do a pretty serious search to find it; imagine simply searching 'at home' or 'at home store' in google... the possibilities are endless! But once you arrive, what a gold mine! Some of it is crap- but a lot of is pure treasure! I got a ton of fun new nick-nacks to support the new color theme of the apartment (and our future), a handful of new frames, new curtains for A and a couple of items for the gallery wall I am putting together. Thank heaven it's a solid 30 minute drive away or we would be in debt in no time ;-) Rob also let me make dinner on Sunday night- a meal I felt didn't make the cut. It was a crockpot meal- basically a Chicken Pot pie, without the 'pie' part. I threw together chicken breasts, potatoes, peas, corn and a handful of spices/mixtures; then we whipped up some crescent rolls when it was time. Here is my problem with meals like this- we don't have a very large crockpot, 4 qt I think? The potatoes never seem to cook correctly!! We had 1 1/2-2 hours left to cook when we noticed the potatoes were still raw! They had already been cooking for 5/5.5 hours! This is the 2nd attempt at a crockpot meal with potatoes, and the 2nd failure. Well, failure to me. We turned up the temp to rush the potatoes and Rob said the meal was actually pretty good. I've never liked Pot pies too much, but since I like all the items IN a pot pie, I was really hoping for a change of heart with this meal. My dinner consisted of almost all the crescent rolls (mommy win). Auds really seemed to love it though!!

Then Monday came. My first day back at work, Auds first daycare.. or do they call it school? I've heard other people refer to daycare's as 'school' . I guess I'm not sure if it's one in the same? Either way- this child of mine couldn't get out of my arms fast enough on Monday. She saw the toys, food and other kids- and she was done with me. Not even a 'buh bye' or a second glance. I, however, had to leave due to the embarrassing scene I was causing of (literally) not being able to communicate to the teachers because I was bawling. BAWLING. I even failed to get a picture because I knew I just needed to leave. Thank heaven, my darling Erin picked up her phone as I made my 8 minute drive to work so I could restore my sanity and get talked down to calmness. Luckily, when I got to work- I was far to distracted to focus too much on the los of my baby girl's presence. It was a great first day. I feel really good about this position. I'm on a 'fast track' to be on the Sales side of this operation, unfortunately I am the only one in this position, so I don't really have anyone else to relate to in our training class. I'll be doing the marketing side for 3 weeks, then will start my training for Sales which should last another 3 weeks. It's really flattering that they claim to have 'seen something in me' that makes them feel I would be successful with this 'fast track' ordeal. Here's hoping I don't let them (or A or Rob) down!! I will be getting an hour lunch during my day-- and if I've ever worked with you in the last 15 years, you are fully aware I've NEVER had this much time on my hands... unless I snuck it in somehow ;-) I had no idea what to do with myself... So I made a rookie mommy mistake- and went to see A. I love that our daycare has an open door policy so I am welcome to go in whenever I want- I can even take her into an open playroom separate from hers if I have time and can play with her as the other kids are sleeping, eating, etc. I meant to only peak in at her- but discovered it was nap time and my stubborn nugget was just laying there with her eyes on the door.... the door with a window... a window that showed my sneaky face very clearly. Instantly she was up and it melted my heart- the smile she got on her face. My baby was excited to see me!! Now I know how amazing it must feel for Rob to come home everyday and get that reaction- from BOTH Audrey and I! Wowza. I only stayed a couple minutes to give her a hundred kisses and tell her how obsessed I was with her- then back to work I went.

The rest of the day was quick and full of information. First weeks of new jobs are the best and the worst- I love meeting new people, but man; you are given such a ridiculous amount of information. It is really overwhelming and exhausting. I can't wait to be fluent in this and feel the comfort that I had at Hyatt and Marriott in the day. I can't imagine I will ever be lucky enough to make the same sort of friendships that I made at the hotels over the years.... but then again, I bet if you had asked me 11 years ago- I wouldn't believe that my hotel co-workers would be my closest, dearest, most sincere and honest friends that I have. I hope it's the same here :)

Today was just another long day full of information. Another fun filled day for A at daycare, and a family filled evening at home with Rob and I battling for Audreys attention for the 2/2.5 hours that she is awake with us, haha. I feel like I have pages and pages of more 'fascinating' stories for ya'll--- but I am so so tired and have to be to work extra early tomorrow (7:15am) for a mandatory meeting on update medical insurance. Good thinking- because at 7:15am, I obviously want to discuss medical insurance in great detail when I can barely function enough to spell my name correctly. This will be great I imagine....

XOXO

Out with a Bang

Tonight we enjoyed our last meal of my 'Ashley Cooks' week and I've got to hand it to myself, I did rather well. I know I missed last night so let's start there....

Last night I made us a French Dip with peas on the side. EXTREMELY easy to throw together, it sat in the crock pot allllllllll day long and had the apartment smelling just sublime when we got back from our day. By the time we finally sat to eat, our mouths were dripping with anticipation and it was worth every drop of saliva. Although, it closely resembled my standard roast that I make- it was slightly different and we put the meat on bread and dipped it into the remaining Au Jus. I'm a bit embarrassed to say our only side was peas- we were planning on green beans, but it turns out I was wrong in assuming we had any.

Also, yesterday- we had quite the treat for lunch hand went to visit Rob at his office! What a drive, it was about an hour to get there, but really was quite scenic. Washington, MO is kind of in the middle of nowhere, so the amount of just wide open greenery was astounding! Rob's office is huge- especially when you consider he only had a cubicle in Cleveland. It's so SO sad and empty though. Unfortunately, I won't be able to dedicate as much time as I normally would've to really making it quaint. Oh well, it's his surrounding. His co-workers seem really nice and the entire office complex is actually really cool. I'm so glad we were able to get out there before I head back to work. I think that is one thing I'll miss the most about being a SAHM- being able to grab lunch with Dad whenever we want.

Now we are onto today. Nothing to fancy during the day- we ran a couple errands so that I could finish up a couple of crafts I've been wanting to try out. We have decided to change up our color scheme a bit- in Cleveland, our house was grey with black furniture and navy/deep red accents. I've been doing deep red accents since I moved into my first apartment and I am MORE than over it. I've decided I want to soften/warm up our home space so we are going to nix the deep red and add some more light blues/greens/mints. Obviously the grey is staying- we are slightly obsessed. So Auds and I spent quite an amount of time at Home Depot today gathering paint swatches. Although we will not be painting the apartment, since we do not intend to be here long, it's nice to keep them in my purse so I always have a color to compare to once we settle on them. We also know that we will be re-painting the next house the same interior as S. Belvoir; we have received countless compliments on that color and we truly did love it (BEHR: Porpoise...as in Dolphin...as in Miami Dolphins. No, I'm not kidding). I was able to finish 2 out of 4 of my crafts and so far I'm content. Obviously, I've come across everything on Pinterest--- really, what did people do before Pinterest? How boring homes must've been, haha.

Tonight for dinner was  big treat for Rob- I was most nervous about this meal. BBQ Ribs in the Crockpot. I'm not sure why I was so paranoid; maybe because the recipe said they needed to be 'stood up in the crockpot' and my mind couldn't comprehend how all the ribs would be evenly cooked in the BBQ Sauce? Either way- my worries were not needed as dinner was devine. I paired the ribs with some yummy Company Corn--which might just be what our family calls it, so it's corn bread mixed with corn, cream of corn, butter & sour cream, then baked. What a perfect little Southern meal. The meat was just falling off the bone and melting in our mouths....yummmmm....

Rob was very pleased- I was elated to hear he is no longer terrified to let me cook dinner :) Thanks Baby- but I know you're itching to get back in that kitchen!

Tomorrow we are going to head out to a Pumpkin patch and check out a neighborhood Garage Sale nearby- lovely little Saturday AND it's only supposed to be a high of 57!!! Can't wait to put on our finest flannel and celebrate the Fall, finally.

XOXO

Loving Daddy's Office

French Dip and Peas

Even Auds loved the French Dip

Ribs starting their day off

Storm Rolling through

Helping me pick paint colors

One of my Pinterst creations 9.22.12 <3

BBQ Ribs and Company Corn

Oh.My.Yum.....again

Well, turns out I don't suck in kitchen! Kudos to me :) Tonight we feasted on Chicken Tetrazzini- and for never having it before, I was blown away. This, I was told, was one of Rob's favorite meals back in the day; he hasn't had it close to a decade so it was a nice treat for us both. It's rather heavy, so obviously it'll will be added to our 'Fall/Winter only meals'- but that's what makes the Fall and Winter the best Seasons ever!! Cozying up with your loved ones and feasting for 6 months straight, haha.

So, this is a little random- but I love to reminisce.... I've known about this Chicken Tetrazzini for some time...Ok, really only about 4.5 years. It was New Years Eve 2009- the first one Rob and I celebrated together and it was one for the books. We went all out- got a fab room at the Renaissance downtown, put together a super fun group of friends, got all jazzed up, had an amazing meal, then got tickets to Windows on the River where we drank and danced until the ball dropped--and then some. Earlier that night, we decided it was too boring to get ready just the two of us, so we trotted down to Jon and Erin's room so us girls could giggle & gossip while the boys....well... ya know, I never know what it is that they do. Anyway, we ended up finding a great episode of Maury on TV and were doubled over with laughter over the title 'Seduced by Chicken Tetrazzini'. I'm not even joking when I say- this young woman believed her boyfriend cheated on her because this other woman 'seduced him with Chicken Tetrazzini'. (Don't believe me? http://maurypovich.wikia.com/wiki/Chicken_tetrazzini) This episode, this moment in time, has been burned into my memory; I actually think my photo album from that night was titled 'seduced by chicken tetrazzini'. So I am MIGHTY proud to finally be able to say that I, Ashley K. Ihasz I, am a seducer by way of Chicken Tetrazzini! (Erin, do you remember how hilarious it was trying to get Jon back to the room that night? Dying inside right now)

I should be embarrassed by the entire paragraph above.... but I'm not.

In other news today- I was able to nail down a wonderful new Pediatrician for Audrey, and we even broke her in with a visit which lead to a confirmed ear infection for Audrey- super boo. As heartbreaking as it was to hear this, at least it gives us an understanding as to why she's been slightly funky the last 2-3 days. I've really just become immune to her new 'tude after my month alone with her in Cleveland- so happy I can give her an antibiotic to help turn that frown upside down. Our new Doctor is fabulous and I'm obsessed with our new office, it has a ton of great toys- even toys IN the private office to keep A distracted! All the rooms are painted really fun- today we had a jungle theme, and the nurse opened our blinds for us so we could watch the golfers on the green behind us. I still cannot get over how nice and easy this transition in St Louis has been. I was telling Robert tonight, I thought getting a job and new Doctors/dentists/daycares was going to be a nightmare; when actually leaving Cleveland was the nightmare and everything since we stepped off the plane actually got to the apartment has been quite a breeze ;-) But for real, it's been a lot easier than expected. Now if we just didn't miss our friends and family so damn much!!

Wish me luck for dinner # 3 tomorrow- I promise, no absurd throwback stories tomorrow.

XOXO

 

 

Starting the feast

 

yummmmmmm

 

Yea, someone was stoked

 

Now, for a little throwback to

NYE 2009......